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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes
silent.
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every
time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this
earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what
the problem is."
"The problem," she complained, "is that it wakes me up."
She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds.
"Who was it?" he asked.
"My husband," she replied.
"I better get going," he said. "Where was he?"
"Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you."
There was this woman who had bags under her eyes and wanted to get them removed so she
could look younger so she went to a plastic
surgeon. She tells the doctor I cant get rid of these bags please help me. The doctor says
he is gonna try and new experimental technique on
her. He will put a crank in the back of her head and when she sees bags under her eyes
she's supposed to crank it and the bags will go away.
So she gets this crank put in her head and leaves. It works and works for a while until
one day she cant get rid of these bags under her eyes. She
cranks and cranks as hard as she can but they just wont go away. So she goes to the
doctor. She says to the doctor: "Doctor, this was working
for a while, but I cant seem to get rid of these bags under my eyes." The doctor
replies: "Lady those aren't bags..those are your boobs." All she
had to say was.."Now that would explain why I have this goatee."
Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it
starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from
her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her:
"What are you doing?!?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette
to get wet so I covered it with a condom"
So her friend asks: "What’s a condom? Where did you get it?" So she says:
"At the pharmacy" So the next day her friend goes to the pharmacy
and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?"
So she replies: "I dunno, one that will fit a camel"
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